写作“七宗罪”，你犯了哪一条？

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作为一个拥有顶尖教学资源和设备的学校，Hamilton College（汉密尔顿学院）拥有被认为是全美国最好的写作项目，以及顶尖的经济、数学、心理专业。另外，Hamilton的中文和法语专业是被认为是美国大学语言项目的楷模。

Hamilton College作为全美最好的文理学院之一，也被认为是小常春藤联盟(Little Ivies)的成员之一，其写作中心、数据分析中心、领导力中心享誉全美。以下是汉密尔顿写作中心给出的写作“七宗罪”，希望能够帮助大家避免犯常见错误。

一、被动语态（PASSIVE VOICE）

在大多数情况下，动词要用主动语态而不是被动语态。

被动语态形成的句子是主语接受动作。相反，主动语态形成的句子中，主语执行一个动作。被动语态通常会造出不清晰、不直接、冗长的句子，而主动语态会造出更清晰、更简洁的句子。

要把一个句子从被动语态变为主动语态，首先要确定是谁或什么执行了这个动作，然后用那个人或事物作为句子的主语。

举例：

X PASSIVE VOICE: My first trip abroad will always be remembered by me.

X PASSIVE VOICE: My first trip abroad is one I will always remember.

√ ACTIVE VOICE: I will always remember my first trip abroad.

X PASSIVE VOICE: On April 19undefined 1775undefined arms were seized by British soldiers at Concordundefined precipitating the American Revolution.

√ ACTIVE VOICE: On April 19undefined 1775undefined British soldiers seized arms at Concordundefined precipitating the American Revolution.

X PASSIVE VOICE: Thomas Jefferson’s support of the new Constitution was documented in a letter to James Madison.

√ ACTIVE VOICE: Thomas Jefferson documented his support of the new Constitution in a letter to James Madison.

相关问题：to be的过度使用

使用to be的形式（例如，isundefined areundefined wasundefined were）会导致句子冗长，我们可以使用一个动作动词来代替。

Example: It is the combination of these two elements that makes the argument weak.

REVISED: The combination of these two elements weakens the argument.

二、两个独立从句的标点错误

独立从句有一个主语和一个动词，可以单独作为一个句子。优秀的写作者知道正确的标点符号对于写出清晰的句子很重要。如果你误用标点，可能会让读者感到困惑，显得粗心大意。

注意以下居中逗号的放置是如何显著地影响这些句子的意思的:

Mr. Jonesundefined says Ms. Mooreundefined is a boring old fool.
Mr. Jones says Ms. Moore is a boring old fool.

写作者经常将独立分句组合在一个复合句中，以强调观点之间的密切关系。复合句中标点符号的使用应关注从句如何互相关联。

规则

使用并列连词时，用逗号将独立分句分开

(例如，andundefined butundefined orundefined forundefined norundefined soundefined yet)。

举例

We all looked worse than usualundefined for we had stayed up studying for the exam.
This room is unbelievably hotundefined and I think that I am going to pass out.
Monday is a difficult day for meundefined so I try to prepare as much as possible on Sunday.

当不使用并列连词时，用分号分隔独立子句。

举例

We all looked worse than usual; we had stayed up studying for the exam.
This room is unbelievably hot; I think I am going to pass out.
Monday is a difficult day for me; I try to prepare as much as possible on Sunday.

当使用连接副词时，用分号分开独立从句。

(例如，howeverundefined thereforeundefined thusundefined consequentlyundefined finallyundefined nevertheless)。

举例

We all looked worse than usual; neverthelessundefined we were relieved we had studied.
This room is unbelievably hot; thereforeundefined I think I am going to pass out.
Monday is a difficult day for me; howeverundefined I have figured out how to prepare for it.

三、冗长（Wordiness）

简洁的写作是清晰沟通的关键。冗余会模糊你的想法，让读者感到失望。简明扼要地表达你的观点。

正如斯特伦克（Strunk）和怀特（White）在《风格的要素（第四版）》（The Elements of Style (4th ed.)）中告诉我们的：

有力的写作应当是简洁的。一个句子不要包含不必要的单词，一个段落不要包含不必要的句子....这不是说作者把所有的句子都写得很短，或者避免所有的细节，只以提纲的讨论话题，而是要求每个字都能说明问题。

“

消除冗余的策略

使用行为动词而不是to be的形式

(例如，isundefined areundefined wasundefined were)。

Wordy: The reason that General Lee invaded Pennsylvania in June 1863was to draw the Army of the Potomac away from Richmond.

REVISED: General Lee invaded Pennsylvania in June 1863 to draw the Army of the Potomac away from Richmond.

Wordy: Tom Jones is a novel by Fielding that comically portrays English society in the eighteenth century.

REVISED: Fielding’s novel Tom Jones comically portrays English society in the eighteenth century.

让句子的实际主语作为主语；

让句子的实际动作作为动词。

Wordy: In Crew’s argument there are many indications of her misunderstanding of natural selection.

REVISED: Crew’s argument repeatedly demonstrates misunderstanding of natural selection.

“

冗余的常见情况

啰嗦：

My personal opinionundefined at the present timeundefined the basic essentialsundefined connect together

不必要的短语/从句：

The reason why is thatundefined this is a subject thatundefined in spite of the fact thatundefined due to the fact thatundefined in the event thatundefined because of the fact thatundefined until such time asundefined by means of

四、撇号的误用

撇号可以表示所有格或在缩略语中标记省略的字母。写作者在面对复数和所有格时经常误用撇号，基本规则非常简单：

用撇号表示拥有，而不是复数。这一规则的例外情况可能会让人困惑，像是her没有撇号，而s不是所有格。尽管如此，只要稍加注意，就可以了解规则和例外。

“

所有格

通过加's来表示单数名词的所有格(即使是以s结尾的词)。

Examples: Hammurabi’s codeundefined Dickens’s last novelundefined James’s cello

复数名词的所有格形式，如果最后一个字母是s，则在后面加撇号;如果最后一个字母不是s，则在后面加' s。

Examples: the students’ booksundefined the children’s toys

记住:撇号从不表示名词的复数形式。

比较下列正确句子:

The student’s book was missing. 单数所有格

Several students’ books were missing. 复数所有格

The students searched for their missing books. 复数

物主代词，如yoursundefined hersundefined its和ours，不带撇号。

Example: The decision is yours.

不定代词，如anyoneundefined everybodyundefined no one和somebody，使用单数所有格。

Example: Somebody’s dog stayed in our room last night.

缩略形式

撇号用于标记缩写中省略的字母。

注意缩写形式在学术写作中经常被认为太不正式。

避免It 's /Its混乱:

It 's是It is的缩写。它不是所有格。

Its是it的所有格。

五、悬空或错位修饰语

错位和悬空修饰语会造成不合逻辑，甚至滑稽的句子。如果我们不能把修饰语（描述或限制其他词的词）与它们所修饰的词链接起来，就会让读者感到困惑；一定要把修饰语放在它们所修饰的单词旁边。

请参阅示例中的不合逻辑之处：

Walking back from the villageundefined my wallet was lost. (Does your wallet walk?)

REVISED: Walking back from the villageundefined I lost my wallet. (Your wallet doesn’t walkundefined but you do.)

“

错位修饰语

错置的修饰语是指一个单词或短语，由于其位置而错误地指向了错误的单词。要纠正错位的修饰语，把它移到它所修饰的单词旁边或附近:

A fine athlete and studentundefined the coach honored the captain of the tennis team. (The coach was not the fine athlete and student.)

REVISED: The coach honored the captain of the tennis teamundefined who was a fine athlete and student.

“

限制性修饰语

限制性修饰语(例如，onlyundefined almostundefined nearlyundefined just)通常被放错位置。为了避免歧义，将限定修饰语放在它修饰的单词前:

Marsh reinforces the view that the artist only intended the images for a local audience.

REVISED: Marsh reinforces the view that the artist intended the images only fora local audience.

“

悬空修饰语

悬空修饰语是一个(通常是介绍性的)词或短语，写作者想要修饰后面的词，但后面的词没有了，结果成为一个不合逻辑的陈述。

要改正悬空修饰语，添加缺失的单词，并将修饰语放在它旁边:

Example: Acting on numerous complaints from studentsundefined a fox was found on campus. (The fox did not act on the complaint.)
REVISED: Acting on numerous complaints from studentsundefined security found a fox on campus.
Example: After reading the original studyundefined the flaws in Lee’s argument are obvious. (The flaws did not read the study.)
REVISED: Reading the original study reveals obvious flaws in Lee’s argument.

悬空修饰语和冗余/被动语态通常一起出现，记得一起修正它们！

六、代词问题

代词作为名词的替代很有帮助，但选择不当的代词可能会模糊句子的意思。常见的代词错误包括:

“

不清晰的代词指代

代词必须指特定的名词(先行词)。模棱两可的代词指称会造成句子混淆。

Example: A key difference between banking crises of today and of yesterday is that they have greater global consequences. (Which crises have greater consequencesundefined those of today or those of yesterday?)

如果有一点歧义，就用名词:

A key difference between banking crises of today and yesterday is that today’s crises have greater global impact.

“

不清晰的主语代词

像itundefined there和this这样的代词通常是弱主语。代词只有在先行词非常清楚的情况下才可以用作主语。

Example: Pope Gregory VII forced Emperor Henry IV to wait three days in the snow at Canossa before granting him an audience. It was a symbolic act. (To what does “it” refer? Forcing the emperor to wait? The waiting? The granting of the audience? The audience? The entire sentence?)

“

指代一致

代词必须与先行词在性别和数上一致。一个常见的错误是用复数代词they指代单数名词。

Example: In the original state constitutionundefined they allowed polygamy. [They (plural) refers to constitution (singular).]
REVISED: The original state constitution allowed polygamy.

通常使用复数名词和代词比使用单数名词和代词更好。请注意，不定代词，如each和everyone是单数。

Example: Each student must meet with their advisor. (incorrect: singular nounundefined plural pronoun)
Example: Each student must meet his or her advisor. (correct but awkward)
REVISED: Students must meet with their advisors. (correct: plural noun and pronoun)

七、不能忍受的一些东西

（The Dreaded Pet Peeves）

学习清晰有效地写作是汉密尔顿学院使命宣言的核心：

“汉密尔顿学院的学生学会独立思考，拥抱差异，有说服力地写作和说话，并以道德和创造性的方式处理问题。”

汉密尔顿学院教授们分享了一些他们最讨厌的东西(也就是常见的写作错误)。

不能忍受的事